In the Bodhisattva practice–Six Paramita, there is a practice of “Tolerance”. Many people find it hard to actually practice, because it is difficult to “love the unlovable”.
A story in a Sutra….a Bodhisattva asked the Buddha…..Please describe what is an enlightened one like? The Buddha replied; A Buddha is someone facing thousands of people beating him with sticks, while enduring all the pain and ridicule, he never engender any thought of hatred, his mind remained calm and peaceful .
Another story is that, a village girl had a illegitimate child, when the family pressed for answers about who is the child’s father, she brought the baby to the Buddha and said, this is your child; imagine accusing a monk doing such a thing? The Buddha silently accepted the false accusation, the punishment by the family and ridicule from the villagers. A few years went by, the young lady finally could no longer bare the guilt, so she told the truth. That is when people realized how great the Buddha was, and everybody begun to fellow Him, and practice His teachings.
Well, how close are we on practice of tolerance? It’s really not easy. To be able be tolerant, inclusive, forgiving, and compassionate, one must first comprehend “emptiness”. Without understanding of emptiness, it’s impossible to achieve true tolerance.
We have discussed “emptiness” in the previous posted topics, emptiness is the truth that all things lack inherent existence; when someone talk bad thing about you, it is only the sound carried by the wind traveled thought your ears, and you happened to understand the language, intern stirred up your unguarded emotions, if your do not know that particular language, then you don’t understand what on earth they are saying, it would not bother you in any way. therefore, our mind should not be disturbed by words (wind/air).
If someone criticize us, or accuse us about something, first, we do a self inquiry; if what they say is true? , we correct ourselves quickly, if it’s not true, that means they are committing bad karma from speech, we view it as an opportunity to practice detachment and tolerance, just like brush dust off your shoulders, and out your mind.
Argument is a tendency for many, but will not solve the problem, it will only fuel the tension between parties. It’s been said; if two people continued to fight for a long period of time, both parties are wrong, because it take two to tangle. I used to joke with friends; if you want have a fight with me, please go outside wait for me, if I don’t show up, go ahead start to fight without me. So, next time someone wants to argue with you, just tell the person, keep talking (arguing), I’ll be back later…….maybe not ! Argument is only exchange of sounds / voices, lack inherent existence, let the wind blow it away!
In any unpleasant situation, always go back thinking “emptiness”, life is only a passage, as we travel through, good or not so good, all are “experiences”, like in a moving train, we cannot cling to anything we see from the window, all experience will be gone with time and space, therefore, we conclude that all things, all experience are “emptiness”, be detached, this how to be spiritually free.